The Smiles We Left Behind
by fababies
Summary: Quinn's love story was an average one - she'd loved, and she'd lost. But what wasn't so average was the memories Quinn and Rachel once shared together and the roller coaster ride that was their love life. Rated M for later chapters.


The house was empty, and the lonliness that came along with the silence tore Quinn Fabray up inside. Quinn remembered when it used to be filled with life, with laughter, and with love. She would sit on the bed, smiling down at Quinn's head that rested on her lap after a long day. She would fill the house with her beautiful singing, and eventually convince Quinn to sing along with her.

There were the fights, too. Words would be said that at the time seemed unforgivable, and almost everytime a plate would end up shattered on the floor. Plenty of tears would be shed, and they would spend the night in seperate rooms. But when morning came, she would smile that beautiful smile and Quinn's heart would melt and have no choice but to hold the love of her life in her arms.

But one day that didn't happen, a forgiving morning never arrived when the sun came up, because she was gone long before sunrise. It had become too much for her to handle, the words Quinn had said were too unacceptable and pushed her to walk out of the door with suitcases held in her hands, leaving Quinn behind to try to live in a house of broken dreams.

And now it was nearly a year since that one devastating day when she left, and Quinn was sitting alone on the bed, trying to ignore the reminders the room held of her soulmate. Her phone was held in her shaky hands, and a finger lingered above the call button. She had to call her, for her own sake she just needed to hear that voice, god that incredible voice, and feel whole again. So she did.

"Hello! It's the one and only Rachel Berry and it seems that I've missed your call. Please leave a message and I'll make sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks!"

The phone beeped, indicating Quinn's time to speak but instead silence followed. She could feel the burning sensation of tears fighting to pool out of her eyes.

"R-Rachel," She finally said, her voice shaky and obviously filled with sadness. "I just, I-I really need you. I don't w-want you, I need you. More than you'll ever know. I've tried to move on, I've tried looking for someone knew, but it's not the same. Because you really are one in a million and my dream come true, Rachel. I miss your laugh, I miss your smile, God I miss the way your eyes light up when you smile. I miss your voice, I miss the taste of those candy lips.. I miss the feeling of your fingertips when they used to brush against mine. I miss your everything. Just please, Rach... let me give you my whole heart one last time. Please."

Quinn didn't even make it through half of the message when she broke into tears with a heavy, horrible feeling in her chest. Everything she had said was one hundred percent true, including when she had said she'd tried to move on. In fact she had tried earlier that day.

She was in a bar, she must have forgotten how much she hated those damn depressing bars, and there was a guy catching Quinn's glance everytime she looked away from the creaky, wooden floors. He looked decent, but of course nothing compared to the brunette beauty that was her ex, and appeared to be alone like Quinn. He approached her eventually, making conversation about the terrible dance music playing in the background. Quinn told herself she was enjoying herself during the semi-enlightening conversation, and that this was good for her. For a moment she thought she'd finally be able to move on and leave the past behind, but the moment she felt his rough lips attach onto hers hours later while they were sitting on the outside curb, she knew that wouldn't be the case.

Nothing felt right. And that had nothing to do with the feeling of lips, even though they tasted like cardboard compared to Rachel's bubblegum ones. It had to do with the emptiness she felt. With Rachel it was different, it meant something. When she kissed this man she didn't feel the stirring in her chest and the warmth that spread throughout her body like she did everytime she kissed Rachel's heavenly lips. And there sure wasn't electricity filling her veins or fireworks of any sort as he sloppily tried to shove his tongue into Quinn's mouth.

So she left, with no words, just a chest full of a whole lot of emptiness.

And now she was alone in her dark, lonely bedroom trying to refrain herself from dialing Rachel Berry's phone number again just to hear that perfect voice. The same voice that used to tell Quinn she loved her, the same voice that used to tell Quinn how beautiful she was, the same voice that belonged to the woman that had complete control over her fragile heart even a whole year after she left.

Quinn had considered moving out of this house that was once a home countless times just to escape all of the reminders and memories in it.

The paint on the walls even hold memories that caused Quinn's heart to ache whenever she caught sight of them. Normal people would see a very light blue when they saw Quinn's bedroom walls, but Quinn saw that one time when Rachel and her had spent an entire day painting this room. She remembered Quinn wrapping her arms around Rachel's waist and lifting the petite girl up so that she could reach the top of the walls.

When she saw the stain on the living room rug, she was reminded of when Rachel and her spent a night cuddling and kissing and eventually making love in front of the fireplace. The red wine glass had been knocked over in the midst of it all, spilling the liquid all over the rug, of course the two hadn't noticed since they were too caught up in eachother.

All of these memories haunted Quinn day after day, and she just wished that she could somehow turn back time and not have said those bitter words to Rachel. She wished she would've realized what she had at the time. Maybe if she had, then Rachel would be lying next to Quinn right now, tracing patterns on her arm as she fell asleep. The reminders would cause both of them to smile at the memory. Everything would've been different if Rachel had stayed.


End file.
